How to Write and Publish a Resonating Memoir

Table of Contents

Ever thought about turning the pages of your life into a compelling memoir? Well, you’re not alone. Many have worked to write and publish a memoir before and found success in their storytelling efforts. It’s all about capturing those pivotal moments that define us and weaving them into an engaging narrative.

In this guide, we’ll unravel the art of writing a memoir—from understanding its essence to crafting your story,  navigating ethical considerations and publishing your work. Along the way, you’ll learn techniques for turning memories into gripping tales that will captivate readers.

Ready for some page-turning insights? Let’s get started on creating something truly memorable!

Defining a Memoir

Simply put, a memoir is a slice of your life story. But unlike an autobiography that covers the span of your entire existence, a memoir zooms in on one or more pivotal events or periods that had profound effects on you.

In other words, think of your life as an epic novel and your memoir as an impactful chapter from that book. It doesn’t necessarily start at birth nor does it need to end in the present day. Instead, it delves into those transformative experiences and how they shaped who you are today.

For instance, if you’ve ever seen a TED Talk, you know that the speakers don’t recite every single thing that happened in their lives. Instead, they share a specific story that can inspire others and provide their audience with valuable insights.

A well-written memoir offers readers both facts and emotions, as well as personal reflections and revelations, all carefully wrapped within storytelling techniques typically found in novels, such as character development and narrative arcs.

This genre gives you room for creativity but also demands authenticity because, ultimately, a successful memoir resonates with readers due to its universal themes—love, loss, resilience, self-discovery—all of which touch everyone at some level.

To write a memoir, the initial step is to pinpoint your narrative. Not every moment of your life qualifies for this, only those moments or series of events that left an indelible impact on you.

The best memoirs often revolve around turning points. These are instances when life takes an unexpected turn, presenting challenges that push us out of our comfort zones but eventually lead to growth and self-discovery.

A critical part of finding your story is connecting with emotions attached to specific experiences. Maybe it was overcoming adversity or surviving heartbreak. Whatever it may be, if it moved you deeply enough, there’s likely an engaging tale waiting to unfold from within those memories.

Piecing together scattered memories might feel overwhelming at times, so start by focusing on major life events before delving deeper into smaller details. Reedsy’s guide suggests starting broad then gradually narrowing down until one particular narrative thread stands out as something worth exploring more in-depth in your memoir.

Remember, writing about pivotal personal experiences doesn’t just let others see what we’ve been through—it also gives us new perspectives about ourselves.

Developing Your Characters

A memoir is not just a collection of events, but an interplay of characters that shape those experiences. So, let’s talk about how to create compelling personas for your story.

The Heartbeat: Understanding Character Motivation

Your character’s motivation serves as the heartbeat of your narrative. Ask yourself what drives them? What are their fears and desires? Answering these queries can assist you in portraying characters that are intricate and realistic.

Capturing Authenticity: Reflect Real Emotions

To give authenticity to your characters, it’s important they express genuine emotions. This doesn’t mean always going for grand emotional displays; sometimes subtlety speaks volumes. When writing about a character expressing an emotion, show don’t tell. Try using body language or indirect speech instead of naming the emotion outright.

Making Memories: Developing Backstories

Backstories provide depth, making characters feel real and grounded in their world. Even if you don’t include every detail in your writing, knowing their history can guide how they react to situations in the present.

Paying Attention To Relationships

In any good memoir, relationships between characters play a significant role, shaping actions and causing growth or change over time. Remember that each interaction should reveal something new about either character involved.

By developing engaging individuals that readers care about, your memoir won’t be simply read—it’ll be lived.

Crafting an Engaging Narrative

Your memoir’s success hinges on its narrative. The first step in crafting this engaging narrative is understanding that a great story isn’t just about what happens—it’s also about how it makes you feel.

Recall some of the books or films that you appreciate. While it’s possible you love some just for their intricate plots, it’s more likely that they’re your favorites because they made you feel something deep inside—joy, sadness, anger, or even fear.

Find Your Story Arc

A clear, well-structured story arc should serve as a roadmap for readers. A strong beginning hooks the reader while an emotionally resonant climax pulls them further into the tale. And finally—a resolution that ties all loose ends together ensures satisfaction at journey’s end.

Outlining your story arc early in the writing process—and sticking to it—are vital to keeping your memoir unified and coherent and your readers happy and engaged.

Include Engaging Dialogue

Few things are more humanizing than speech. The way we talk—both what we say and how we say it—can tell others a lot about who we are as individuals. Including dialogue in your memoir adds another layer of realism and allows characters’ personalities shine through their own words instead telling us outright. Reedsy Blog is a valuable resource for honing dialogue-writing skills.

Show, Don’t Tell

“Show, don’t tell” is a classic piece of writing advice for a reason—it works. Rather than explicitly informing readers of their sentiment towards a certain occurrence, portray it in such a manner that they can form their own ideas.

If you’re craving more tips on this technique, Jerry Jenkins is a great resource to check out.

Add Descriptive and Sensory Details

To give your memoir some flair, it’s important to add both descriptive and sensory details.

Descriptive details are like the seasoning in a well-cooked meal, they add flavor and depth to your memoir. Just as a chef knows when to sprinkle salt or drizzle olive oil, you too should know how and where to incorporate descriptive elements into your narrative.

Sometimes these descriptive details can be adjusted to engage the reader’s five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Sensory details like these transport readers right into the heart of your story. Consider this sentence: “I walked through my grandmother’s house.” Now compare it with: “I tiptoed across the creaky wooden floors of my grandmother’s house, each step releasing the familiar scent of polished pine mingled with old books.” Whereas the first sentence is simple and straightforward, the second sentence does a much better job of slowing your reader down so that they engage more deeply with your description.

Use Metaphors And Similes

Metaphors and similes are tools you can use to draw a comparison between two unrelated things. (For example, a simile could be something like, “His face went as red as a tomato.”) Making connections like these can add unique perspectives or humor to your story, hooking readers more effectively than straightforward facts ever could.

Remember, not every paragraph needs to be laden with metaphors and similes. The trick is in knowing when to use them for maximum impact and when it’s better to let the actions or dialogue carry the scene.

The truth can be a tricky thing in memoirs since things aren’t always black and white. Your memories might differ from others who were part of the same event or period in your life. You must tread lightly here because what feels true for you might stir up feelings of discomfort or disagreement among others involved.

Making ethical decisions when writing about real people is paramount to maintaining relationships and avoiding potential legal trouble. A helpful approach is to stick with honest recounting while remaining respectful towards those featured in your narrative.

Respecting Privacy

Your story likely involves other people—family members, friends, colleagues—who played pivotal roles in shaping your experiences. While their participation adds depth and richness to your tale, remember that they have their own privacy rights too. It’s crucial not just legally but ethically to avoid infringing on these rights by sharing more than they would be comfortable with being public knowledge. Two possible ways around this issue could be anonymizing characters or obtaining explicit permission before publishing sensitive details.

Telling The Truth Without Causing Harm

A common dilemma faced by memoir writers is balancing honesty with empathy. Yes, telling an authentic story means acknowledging hard truths at times. However, kindness should also play its role. Ask yourself if including potentially hurtful information truly serves the purpose of enhancing understanding of your story or is it merely a detail that can be omitted without altering the essence.

Addressing Legal Concerns

The time and effort it took to write your memoir should not go to waste. If your memoir raises any legal concerns (e.g., defamation), make sure to consult with a libel expert upfront to avoid potential legal issues. While it might seem like an extra step, it can save you a major headache down the line.

Revising and Editing Your Memoir

The revision process is where your memoir truly comes to life. But remember, even the best writers need a little help when it comes to refining their work. To help you make your memoir shine, here are some tips to consider during the revision process.

Getting Distance from Your Work

Once you’ve written the first draft of your memoir, take a break to allow yourself the opportunity to come back with renewed perspective and be able to identify any areas that need more attention or discrepancies. This will let you come back with fresh eyes, making it easier to spot inconsistencies or areas needing more detail.

Focusing on Structure and Flow

Your story needs an engaging flow that holds the reader’s attention throughout. Look at each chapter as part of the whole and make sure they all contribute effectively towards building up your narrative arc.

Hiring Professional Help

If you’re having difficulty self-editing, enlisting a professional editor may be beneficial. They’ll provide valuable insights and suggestions that could transform your manuscript into something truly exceptional. You can find vetted professionals at Editorial Freelancers Association (EFA).

Remember, revising isn’t just about fixing mistakes; it’s also about enhancing what already works well in order to make sure every word counts.

Publishing Your Memoir

After putting all of your energy into crafting a memoir, it’s time to let everyone else see it. As our experts at The Speaker Lab could tell you, the journey from manuscript to published book can seem daunting, but don’t worry—we’ve got you covered.

Finding an Agent

Seeking out an advocate for your narrative who is as passionate about it as you are should be the initial move. A good agent will not only help sell your memoir but also guide you through the publishing process. Websites like QueryTracker or Publishers Marketplace can be great starting points for identifying potential agents.

Crafting a Query Letter

You’ll need to create a compelling query letter that sells both you and your memoir. Keep it concise yet engaging, and make sure to follow each agency’s specific submission guidelines carefully. Resources such as Jane Friedman’s blog on writing query letters could prove useful here.

Congratulations! You’ve officially received an offer. But before signing anything, first familiarize yourself with standard publishing contract terms so that nothing takes you by surprise later on. Websites like the Authors Guild provide resources about understanding contracts—check out their article on grant of rights clauses.

Promoting Your Memoir

Promotion plays a crucial role in getting a memoir noticed among readership communities. To get the word out, leverage your personal network, engage with readers on social media, and consider organizing book signings or readings. For more tips, check out the ten ways that writer Erika Hoffman promotes her books.

FAQs about How to Write a Memoir

What are the five parts of a memoir?

A typical memoir includes these five elements: an intriguing introduction, a vivid setting, well-developed characters, a meaningful conflict or turning point, and finally, resolution that ties it all together.

How do I start writing my memoir?

To kick off your memoir journey, first pinpoint your central theme. Next up is brainstorming significant life events related to this theme. Then you’re ready to draft an outline.

What should be avoided in a memoir?

Dodge generic descriptions and clichés in your memoir. Don’t let factual accuracy overshadow emotional truth. And remember not to turn it into an autobiography—it’s about pivotal moments, not your entire lifespan.

What does a memoir need?

Your stellar memoir needs these seven things: a strong central theme; relatable characters; engaging narrative style; detailed settings; genuine emotions; ethical handling of real-life situations and people; and meticulous editing before publishing.


Mastering how to write a memoir is quite the journey, but with this guide, you’ve learned key elements. You now know that a memoir isn’t your whole life story, just the most impactful moments, and that woven throughout these impactful moments are carefully developed characters, engaging narratives, and vivid details.

Of course, as you tell your stories, ethical considerations cannot be neglected, and neither can revising and editing, all crucial steps towards perfecting your work.

The final step? Getting published! While the process has its challenges, writing a memorable memoir is anything but impossible. So what are you waiting for? Start weaving those memories into captivating tales today!


Explore Related Resources

How to Write a Book in 2024: 8 Practical Steps
Unlock your potential with our guide on how to write a book. Master storytelling, character development, publishing options and more. Dive in now!
Successful Book Signing Strategies for Authors
Discover expert strategies to make your book signing a hit. Learn how authors and CEOs can engage readers, enhance visibility, and boost sales with our guide.
How to Come Up with a Pen Name That Suits You
Discover the art of anonymity and branding as we reveal how to come up with a pen name that captures your authorial essence.

Learn How You Could Get Your First (Or Next) Paid Speaking Gig In 90 Days or Less

We receive thousands of applications every day, but we only work with the top 5% of speakers.

Book a call with our team to get started — you’ll learn why the vast majority of our students get a paid speaking gig within 90 days of finishing our program.

If you’re ready to control your schedule, grow your income, and make an impact in the world – it’s time to take the first step. Book a FREE consulting call and let’s get you Booked and Paid to Speak®.