Who do you speak to and what do you speak about?
I speak to HR organizations about team cohesion and how to manage conflict with teams who are working hybrid – in person and online.
Very niched down! Awesome. We would love to know what was happening or not happening in your business that made you say, “I need to do The Speaker Lab.”
I’ve known since 2012 that I loved speaking. I’m from Canada, but my family and I moved to Europe in 2010, so that gave me an opportunity for me to try new things. In Canada, I was a social worker and that was not it, you know? I had studied in that field, so I figured I’d continue because of all that investment. Then when I moved to Europe, it was because my husband got a contract for a couple of years, and there I said, “Okay, this is my opportunity to try new things.”
One of the things was being a Diversity Management Consultant. In Canada, I faced a lot of racism at work so I was trying to find ways to better integrate the labor market, but I didn’t know how so I began a PhD there in Europe, in Belgium to be specific.
I was doing a PhD and learning about how to integrate the labor market as a diverse member, and I wanted to share it. I would go to “after hours” where there were ethnic minorities and I would share this information. The first time I did it, I was so bad at it. My mic was so low, everybody kept on motioning for me to put my mic up. I had no training, no experience, but I felt something in me that was saying, “You are at the right place. This is for you. This is your place to touch as many people as you want and you can.” So that was the start.
After 2012, I did a few gigs. Most of them were free because I didn’t know I could get paid. I remember the first time I was hired, it was by a bank – I had been doing free gigs but was tired of doing free gigs. (I wanna share, but I also wanna be supported in my passion.) So one time I was doing a free gig and a person in the audience came up to me and said, “Do you work with banks?”
I was like, “Of course.” So I spoke to a diversity team for a US bank, but they were located in Belgium. I remember the meeting with the team and everything went super smoothly. I was prepared, but I was not expecting the big question: “How much do you charge?”
I looked up at them and at that time I was doing consulting, and I said, “250 Euros.” Silence. Everybody looked at me like I was crazy. When you don’t charge enough, people get suspicious. They really stared at me for a long time and in my heart, I was like, “Is it too much?”
The thing is – it was a bank, so of course they had the money, but I wasn’t prepared for that. I did it, and it was amazing, but I didn’t know how to follow up to get more gigs out of the one. So I continued to do free gigs and came back to Canada working 9-5s that weren’t really fulfilling. Then, one time I really prayed. I said, “This is what I want to do. I want something to help me to know the business side, how to grow my business.”
And then I found The Speaker Lab.
What an interesting background! Then you jumped and did the SPEAK Framework. I know we just saw your Alumni Achievement submission come through. What were some key moments or major takeaways that you got from the SPEAK Framework that you’ve been able to apply to your business?
One of the big things that I learned and did this year was look at what produced results. We hear a lot of things about marketing and stuff like that, but I was hiding behind marketing, behind posting, making the perfect post on LinkedIn, on Facebook. I thought I was smarter because, “Oh I’m just using LinkedIn as opposed to Instagram, because that’s not my niche. My niche is not on Instagram.” But really, I was really hiding from pitching myself.
With social media, you can waste so many hours on creating nice posts in Canva and stuff like that. But it’s not producing. It’s not a money-generating activity, and I learned that in The Speaker Lab. That’s one of the biggest things is to stop hiding behind marketing and do the real work.
The courses really show you what to do. It’s not complex. I was expecting something really missing, like difficult to understand, and of course, the program is long, time consuming, and you have to invest in it, but it’s really simple. The Speaker Lab breaks it down into what simple steps you have to do on a continuous basis.
Could you speak to what that “real work” looked like for you? Was it about prospecting more directly and putting yourself out there?
Yeah, prospecting directly! For instance, posting a good article is not prospecting, you know? Commenting, “Nice job – you got this offer on LinkedIn!” is not prospecting.
I had gigs where I was really uncomfortable saying, “After this, if you want to connect further or if you can connect me with other HR managers, that would be great.” I would feel so uncomfortable doing that, so that’s one of the things I want to be better at and am going to be better at this year.
It’s about really putting yourself out there. You have to believe in yourself so really the thing is learning how to get other gigs from just one gig. I was able to do that this year for the first time because I studied and listened to the SPEAK framework, and it works.
When you’ve shown that you’re a professional, people listen to you and they trust you. The trust factor is higher with those people that have seen you in the past. So then when you connect with them after, and ask, “Can you connect with me with team members or people that you know from your network?” they will do it more freely because they know you. They have seen you.
Yes – learning how to duplicate success is a big part of building the business. Really following up and cultivating the relationship goes such a long way. We would love to know what have been some of your results?
For context, my parents are immigrants from Haiti who moved here. I’m sure I’m not the only one who would hear this sort of thing – maybe if you’re a Native American, native Canadian, you might have heard similar things – but they would always tell me, “You have to work harder than everybody. It’s gonna be hard work.”
So I remember one time, I asked a person from my network, “Can you connect me with a HR Manager?” And she connected me with the HR Manager from a bank. The price that I was able to charge for the least amount of work was equal to what I get paid for 2 weeks of work in 2 hours. What I normally get paid for 70 hours of work, I made in 2 hours.
Unfortunately, because of where my mindset was, I sabotaged it. It was a mess. Tech wasn’t working. Everybody had their cameras off. I didn’t know how to engage them. For example, I could have said in the beginning, “I know you’re busy, but you can find the time to do whatever you’re doing, scrolling, etc. later.”
This particular event was a session about how to implement wellness strategies in stressful environments. It’s a super important subject that I’ve shared since 2012. I know it by heart. I live by these principles. The things I was sharing about, like having a morning routine, forgiveness, all backed by science-based research, I know it by heart, but just couldn’t remember it. It was awful.
I know now that as much as the practical side of the business, prospecting and following up is important, mindset is just as important.
How have you worked on that? I would love to hear more. I think you’re touching on something really important. How did you start to say, “Okay, I am worthy of getting paid X amount of money for a speaking gig?”
Well, declarations, like you just said, “I’m worthy of…I deserve…” That is an affirmation that I’ve heard from a money coach. “I deserve it. I’m worth it. I’m an amazing speaker. I add value.” Stuff like that. Declarations are really important.
And also forgiveness. I remember I did a gig and was able to charge what I wanted. And then I got a complaint from one of the participants. “I didn’t learn anything.” And so I said, “Okay, stop.”
I admit – I was all about the fluff. I had a yellow blazer because that’s my favorite color. And I was so happy. So at first, I was like, “Oh, she sucks. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She’s not in my niche. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” She was one of the secretaries.
But then I said, “No, there’s some truth in it. I can go deeper.” So I maxed out my Amazon card, and went and bought specific books on the subject to really dive deep into it and not to keep it superficial.
I realized that I had to go back to the lab. Getting knowledge gives you more confidence because you know what you’re talking about.
Then, at the next gigs that were on the same subject, team cohesion and what to do when conflict arises, I nailed it. I killed it. I had spent so much time on learning, not just watching a quick YouTube video, but really studying. I got Harvard University articles, Business Review. I got everything. I even got theses that I was studying on the subject, because when you’re new with a subject and you get a thesis, that’s the latest research, so that was a good way for me to get a really full understanding of the subject.
This helped me a lot with my mindset, and really practicing forgiveness, self-love, self-compassion did too. I don’t know if you know about Louise Hay – the godmother of self-love. One of the things that she said is when she tries something new – for her, it was using a computer for the first time – afterwards you take a piece of paper, cut it in two, and on one side you say what you did right, and on the other side, you write what you can improve. But you start with the phrase “I was amazing for the first time.” So that’s what I do now. I was amazing for the third time, the fifth time. And then I write. This is not beating yourself up; it’s acknowledging what you can improve to be a better speaker and offer the best you can to your audience.
I love that you’re so intentional about growing yourself as a speaker and establishing more credibility and more expertise around what you’re passionate about. We would love to know what your new normal looks like? How has your life changed?
One of the things is that I no longer say yes to free gigs. That’s big for me. I remember just a couple of weeks ago, this lawyer who I’ve known for a while from a networking event, asked me, “Stephanie, can you do a free gig for the lawyer association?” That’s not my niche. I’ve done it in the past and it brought nothing.
So I said, “No.” And she’s like, “Are you sure? You’re gonna have a lot of visibility!” I said, “I put so many hours into this – you have no idea – so I cannot. This is something that I work hard on, so I cannot give it for free.” And she said, “I understand.” So just saying no to free gigs, because I know my value more and more. Also I was able to add a zero to what I ask. I was stuck with the 250 Euros for so long. It was 250 for everything. But now my minimum for three hours, for example, is $1,000.
Also another thing I’ve done – which is because of my husband, who’s a nerd. He is a scientist. But he is listening, you know? And one time I was like, “Oh man, babe, I put so many hours towards that three hour gig to share about team cohesion and conflict resolution.” He was like, “Why don’t you cut it in two? Make it two gigs instead of one?” And that’s what I did. I was able to double what I get because it was too much content for just one gig. And that goes with self-confidence, too. When you don’t have a strong mindset, you’ll believe that you have to over deliver. So now, because I know my value more, I realize my value, I’m able to charge more.
Dang, there’s a lot of goodness there. That’s awesome. I love how strategic you are. We have people start with one talk and we always say, you never know how it’s going to evolve because as you learn your market and you learn your target audience, people come to you with new questions and eventually you’ll realize “Oh I have a whole second talk here.” Or, “Oh, I could speak to that. Let me develop a third talk.” So I love that you’re growing this whole thing and saying, “Great – now if someone comes to me, I can pitch two sessions or I can offer a whole day’s worth of workshops.” It sounds like you can give a lot more and then in turn make a lot more, which is awesome.
Yeah.
So practically, what does it look like to pitch the two talk option versus one talk?
This is a good question because it’s all about mindset. Before if you would’ve told me this idea – like the first time when my husband told me that, I was like, “You’re crazy. They’re gonna say no.”
Everybody says yes! It’s so easy.
And when I have those speaking discovery calls with prospects lately, it has been so light, like I manifest good people. It’s really easy. And when it’s too complex, I learn to let go. For example, if you’re going back and forth, back and forth with someone – ’cause there’s a sequence, you know? We have to send the first email, second email, then stop at five – Sometimes it gets super complicated.
Now I have the confidence to let go of those because it’s gonna be messy afterwards anyways. You know, it’s really a sign. And you have to believe in abundance – that you letting go doesn’t mean that you’re blocked and won’t have anything else. It just means it’s not a good match. And it’s just signs that God, the universe, is sending you.
I love it. This is so inspiring because you can totally tell how moving out of a scarcity mindset is exponentially growing your business. I feel like I could hear you talk about this for hours, but my last question is who would you recommend to The Speaker Lab and why?
Well I’ve done some interviews with people to know and learn who my audience is and who’s my market, and I remember talking to people who wanted to be speakers. And I think with speaking, there’s no, ‘I think I wanna be a speaker.” It’s either you like speaking or you don’t. People who love speaking, when you tell them, you’re not shy. You say, “I love speaking,” and everybody will feel that in their heart – that you have a mission and speaking’s your purpose.
They should go for it because if you’re not doing it the right way, you’re gonna start doubting yourself. And especially, you’re gonna waste so much time. I’ve wasted so much time listening to all the gurus, all the marketing experts, but they’re not speakers.
It’s like how if you want good pizza, you go to an Italian restaurant. So The Speaker Lab is like the pizza from the Italian restaurant. The coaches are real speakers; they’ve been doing the grind and everything. So that’s the blueprint that a speaker needs to succeed.
Anything else is just a waste of time. It is just like trying to learn how to make pasta with YouTube versus going to an expert. So The Speaker Lab is going to the expert where you will find everything you need. Like just now, I was listening to The Speaker Lab podcast, and it’s free. It’s filled with value, value, value.
Every week I listen to it; it’s so inspiring. So if you want a one stop shop where you find everything you need to be a speaker, you wanna grow, and you know in your heart that speaking is your purpose, go for it.
That’s so validating to me as someone who’s on the team, because we try really hard to make sure we stay really focused on the thing we specialize in which is helping people learn how to get booked and paid to speak. We try not to add extra fluff. We don’t get in the weeds about things that are irrelevant, because we want it to be all about getting you booked and paid to speak. Grant says to speakers all the time, “You don’t wanna be a buffet, you wanna be the steakhouse,” so it’s cool to hear you saying that’s what you see us doing.
To finish up also, I’m gonna make different types of talks, but for now I focus on team cohesion and conflict management because I wanna be so good at it that I am the person that people think about when they think of those topics.
So don’t be afraid to narrow down. Don’t get in that scarcity mindset. When I have those discovery calls, people ask me about the different topics that I could share, but what stands out is team cohesion. They can feel that this is my stuff. I know my stuff. And I will be able to serve their audience better when I really am comfortable and I know my stuff by heart.
Is there anything else you want to share?
Well, I think speaking is really challenging, but so rewarding. And you could hide in a job that you don’t really like, but speaking is so rewarding. When I come back after a gig, my kids can see in my face how happy, how radiant I am, and without saying anything, they say, “We’re so proud of you.”
I think this is the best gift you could give to your close ones – to be doing something that you truly are passionate about. So this gift of The Speaker Lab is not just a gift for me. This is a gift for everybody around me.
That’s really powerful. Thanks Stéphanie!